Non-sexual physical affection and why it matters
This one is specifically for the lads. The male side of my audience. So, come on then, pull up a chair and let’s address this in a (mostly) non-judgemental manner.
Guys, how many times have you heard women complaining that the attention you give them is just not enough? That you don’t share your feelings or show them enough affection. Or just really complaining in general, it seems like nothing you do is good enough. How many times? I’m willing to bet it’s a lot.
And it’s quite frustrating for both men and women that we just seem to be on completely different pages when it comes to expressing affection.
So what is it? What is it that would literally just fix this issue. It’s actually quite simple. Well, it seems simple for us as women, because we just don’t understand why you struggle to deliver these things. It might be because you don’t know how important it is. Or perhaps you do, but it’s difficult for you to do it for long periods of time. I would suggest that the latter is the one that you struggle with the most. So, the thing I am talking about is, pay attention, non-sexual physical affection. Yap, that’s it! It’s that simple! The end!
Nah, I’m joking. But really that is the solution for a lot of the problems that you are facing with your other half. I mean I get it; your girlfriend just argues, she doesn’t really ask for specific things, everything she says is very vague and makes no fucking sense at all. And it also comes out of the blue, for no bloody reason. I get it, and the reason why I get it is because as a woman. I know, I’ve done it too!
As you know I don’t waste time hiding around the bushes, so for your own sake, what can you do? What are these non-sexual physical things that you can do?
Before I give you a list of five things that you can implement in your relationship, let me explain why it’s important and why women give it so much importance. See, for us, there is sex where we feel this strong sense of connection and involvement with our partner and then when it’s over we still want to feel that same connection even outside sex. We want at all times to feel like we are connected. And just like in sex, we can’t do it by ourselves. I mean we can have some fun just by ourselves, and we definitely do, but what I’m talking about is the interchangeable connection between couples. So we need you. To feel like you care.
Here are the 5 non-sexual physical things you can do to keep your bae happy:
1. Hand holding
Okay, I can hear you all going like “how basic”?, however please let me explain. If you’re young like me, you know what I’m talking about. A lot of you guys just don’t hold our hands. In the beginning it was all cute and stuff, but after a while you feel like you don’t have to do it anymore for some strange reason. And I have two propositions, on this one. If you’re at a stage where both of you just became soo comfortable that you don’t even hold hands anymore, then this will really do wonders to her mood swings. When you guys go out, just take her hand in yours. If she’s not expecting that, then she will really be taken by surprise.
Or the second proposition is, if you guys go on a date night, to a restaurant for example, just softly take her hand while you’re waiting for dinner to be served. And let me just be straight up, if you take
her hand at a restaurant and her face looks like the face she makes when she’s about to have an orgasm, you should feel ashamed, because that really means you were slacking bad for a long time! I’m just saying. And I don’t wanna get all scientific and stuff but hands have the most nerve endings in our body so just from that you can understand that holding hands is an amazing stimulus and it also means that you’re acknowledging her as important, especially if you guys are in public.
I wish you could see how my body language just literally changed by saying that word. Passionate kissing without any sexual intention. Or just a small little kiss while she is preparing something to eat. Just kiss for no particular reason. A kiss in the forehead before she starts her yoga session. Seriously, if only you knew how much a kiss can do. It’s just the most intimate non-sexual form of showing affection. Do it more often and in three months’ time email me about the outcome.
When was the last time you sent a flirty message to her? I don’t mean sexually explicit messages, but just that type of flirt that creates a bit of banter and just leaves her thinking about you the whole day for very good reason. Flirt with her, comment on how good those jeans make her look. You get the picture. I’m sure this one is easy however it’s not a one-day thing. You need to try and stay consistent with this stuff.
4. Leave something on the table with a handwritten card
What does she like? Chocolates, flowers, wine, candles? What is it that you know she really likes? It can also be something handmade, so it’s not about spending money at all, it’s about the intention. It can be literally anything, just be a bit creative. She will feel appreciated, and if it happens to be something that she actually likes, she will be over the moon with the fact that you know what kind of stuff she’s into. That looks like a win-win to me.
5. Give her a real massage
A massage without a “happy ending” may seem like a crazy idea to you, but believe me, it can work wonders. Picture this, she comes home from the gym, or from work, or just if you spot that she is a bit tense or tired, and you say, apropos of nothing at all, “Hey babe, you look like you could use a massage”. You don’t need to tell her to go in the room and get naked, and then come in dancing with baby oil in your hands because you know it’s about to go down. Nah, none of that. Make it non-sexual. And when you’re done allow yourselves to go back to what you were doing before. I’m not saying that if she does want sex you shouldn’t give it to her. But I am saying not to make that your motivation. And try to really finish that massage for the sake of helping her feel less tired, not more tired, if you know what I mean!